I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
