In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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