Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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