so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
