u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We have started to decorate penises.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
