Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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