You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
