life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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