Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it hurts more in the daytime
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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