I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish you could order shots online.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
