Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
