Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
