mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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