yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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