We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
