Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
