I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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