Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
