kristin has been a bad kristin
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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