FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
