So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
