i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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