it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
