omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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