I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
