you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
God I need to hump something, right now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
