its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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