He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
