I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
