all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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