your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
