My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
