turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
