I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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