Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
