Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She's the barista slut.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize