hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
