If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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