Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.