All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There's always time for handjobs
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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