2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
