What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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