You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There are leaves in my underwear?
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