is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
