Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
