my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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