I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
try to milk me bitch
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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