whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
