Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
