You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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