Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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