@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
