she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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