ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
