So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
