My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.