well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks