everyone is single if you try hard enough
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.