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• (614): View more from Ohio

  shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (831): View more from California

  I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  "Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis

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