I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!