Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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