no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
