Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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